Secret Rooms and Exploding Griffindors
by master-of-poppets
Summary: In an odd twist of explosions, Harry finds himself living with the slytherins, much to his suprise drinking and friendship is found. but what of the secret room the slytherins so desperatly hide?AU after HBP
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Secret Rooms and Exploding Griffindors**

All Characters belonging to J.K

Thank you muchly to Miss Prongs for being my beta for the 1st few chapters also thank you to smarmypenguin for seting it up when my incompentant self couldnt

**Chapter One:** A One Night Stand

Draco Malfoy was currently dreaming. He was slipping through bright colors; the only one he could focus on was green. His dreams seemed happy, soft. But at some point he vaguely came into consciousness. He snuggled into the black duvet and stretched his lean legs out. His leg brushed something and the cheap smell of tacky perfume invaded his nostrils, but he ignored it. He couldn't ignore the odd sensation of his hair being tugged for much longer, though.

He tried to focus. Was that a hand? Touching his hair? No, not touching. _Playing _with it and messing it up, more like.

A hand messing up his glorious blond locks? _How dare you touch my hair with your grubby hands, cretin_! formed in Draco's mind, but all that came out was a groggy,

"Fuck off."

Lilting laughter was the only reply. He sat up. Then promptly fell back with a groan and put a hand on his pounding head. He opened his eyes only to encounter a half-naked girl with cheap blond peroxide hair who, he was pretty sure, he hadn't met before.

Well, in a coherent state anyway.

"Good morning, sweetie," she simpered.

_Oh fuck._

She twirled her hair between two manicured nails. "What shall we do today, hmm?"

He decided to get out while he was still alive.

"Get out of my bed, for one." He glared, pulling the sheets off himself and reaching for what resembled a pair of jeans. She giggled in a ditzy manner.

"Oh, but I'd much rather stay."

"I think you'll find that you can't afford that," he said, while pulling on a Ramones t-shirt.

Shock settled on her face. "B-but..."

He stood up and walked towards the door. He paused. Hell, why not crush her in true Malfoy style?

"When I said I'd respect you in the morning, I lied."

And he slammed the door.

He walked into the common room trying to gather his wits. But, unfortunately, he had taken leave of them.

_Oh, weren't you notified? I'm terribly sorry; the memo must not have reached you. We're having problems with reception, you see. New girl started Monday. Well, they'll be back Monday, or so they say. You're welcome to leave a message; I'm sure they will get back to you, _his inner voice came up with.

Damn.

As he strode in a lazy voice from the couch came out; "He's alive! Call off the search party!" Blaise Zabini said. He was lying on the couch. His long wavy brown hair covering his tired eyes.

Draco glared. "It amazes me, Blaise, how even _you _can produce coherent speech in the morning." And he sat down.

Blaise ignored this and sat up. "I feel like a bagel."

"What, round and full of fat?" Draco asked.

"No. I was thinking more along the lines of cute and happy."

Draco arched an eyebrow. "Bagels are happy?"

"Of course they are! All giggly and cuddly." He then abruptly stood up and walked out the door.

Draco laughed to himself. Suddenly, he heard a loud thump from the girls' dormitory followed by an audible "Fuck!" He looked over to the girls' door. Sure enough, Pansy Parkinson came out, swearing colourfully and wearing a minimal amount of clothes. She stomped over and sat down, lighting a cigarette.

"Good night?" Draco mocked.

She glared.

"What's wrong?" he sighed.

"The fucker left during the night," she grumbled.

"Who, dear?"

A curious frown came upon her face. "I'm not sure."

"Pansy, darling, you were so trashed that Blaise and I dragged you upstairs."

Comprehension settled on her face. "Oh. But I could have sworn Terry and I...?"

"Hogs Head garden," he gently reminded her.

"Oh, I remember now! Sort of. Where _is _that most curious boy, anyway?" she asked.

"Raping a bagel, last I heard," he said, idly inspecting his nails. At that moment the dungeon door swung open. Blaise pranced through covered in crumbs.

"Pansy!" he said delightedly and threw himself on her

"Please! Not so loud. Some of us have hangovers, you know," she said, trying to detach herself from the excitable Italian.

"Speaking of which," Draco drawled, "how about I get some coffee injected into my system before we go on any wild adventures?"

"What about trying to tame Granger's hair? Or sacrificing the Virgin Weasel to the pagan Gods?" Pansy said, standing up.

"Later."

"Ok, well, I'm going to get changed before the Gryffindors catch me and try to rape me senseless," she said, walking towards the door.

"It's not rape if you rape them back!" Blaise yelled as the door closed behind her. "Well, I'm leaving before she realises I stole her black bra."

"I'm not even going to ask."

After Pansy had chased Blaise through the common room and kicked in his door, they were all sufficiently dressed and on their way out when yet another hung-over Slytherin appeared through the common room door. He appeared to be covered in leaves and twigs.

"Morning! You look like you had fun, Gregory!" Blaise proclaimed loudly. Goyle grumbled and stormed off.

"Poor Greg."

"Fuck him, I'm starving. Let's go," Draco snarled.

When they walked into the great hall, Draco could have cried in relief when he saw the pot of coffee. He then promptly sat down and began gulping down a great deal of it.

"Um, Malfoy?'

"Fuck off, Blaise, I'm busy," he said, between gulps. _Oh, sweet coffee, how I adore thee._

Hang on, Blaise never called him Malfoy. And Slytherin cups weren't red and gold. Shit, this must be...

"FUCK!" he yelled and leaped out from under the Gryffindor table. An amused Harry Potter looked up at him.

"Aw, is icky Malfoykins not a morning person?" he mocked.

"I, unlike your virgin self, like to get laid once in a while, so yes, I'm a tad tired," he snapped and stormed off to the Slytherin table. "You fuckwits," he hissed at Blaise and Pansy who were already seated, and who had watched the entire scene with immense amusement.

"Sit down, Dracokins," Pansy giggled. Draco threw him self down and glared at Harry. Harry smirked back.

Smirking at a Malfoy! _Shit, I must be hung-over._ _Well, at least I own hair gel._ _And contacts, and a sense of style._ Loud screeching from Pansy interrupted his mind-battle.

"No! You deluded, medicated boy! I will not trade you my Dolce and Gabbana jacket for a pair of your shoes!"

"But Pansy, it looks so good on me..."

"You've touched it!" she roared.

"Umm…no?" he tentatively tried.

He lost.

The conversation ended up with Blaise sulking.

Hope you liked it! Was first chapter ever! Yay! Please review and I shall smile all because of you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Secret Rooms and Exploding Griffindors**

All Characters belonging to J.K

Thank you muchly to Miss Prongs for being my beta for the 1st few chapters also thank you to smarmypenguin for seting it up when my incompentant self couldn't

warnings: Slash, AU pre HBP.

**Chapter Two: **Explosions

Draco was in a foul mood. It wasn't that he was angry at anything in particular, he was just blatantly angry. He was currently storming around Hogwarts, terrifying first years and, in general, being a prick. He wasn't sure what he was hunting for, but he hoped (for the people smaller than him) that he would find it.

Whilst Draco was storming angrily around, Harry Potter and the other Gryffindor sixth year boys were having something of a party. They were in their dorm, laughing and drinking copious amounts of Butterbeer.

"So, Fred and George come out, and they're laughing and yelling something about Ron being stuck to a table. So, Ginny and I walk in and..."

"I don't think we need to hear anything more about that, thank you," Ron hissed.

The boys erupted into peals of laughter.

"Hey guys," Harry said, still giggling slightly. "We're running low on Butterbeer."

"Flag Butterbeer! Haven't we got anything stronger?" Seamus asked.

"I know a spell for some Firewhisky…" Dean said mischievously. There was a loud chorus of: "Fuck yes!" Harry giggled and stood up

"I'm going to get some, anyway." He grabbed his invisibility clock and left the room. The laughter slowly died out.

"So...charmed naked to a table, Ron?" Dead asked innocently, starting the laughter back up again.

Harry was just leaving the kitchens when he heard a loud explosion. Instantly he began running, dropping the Butterbeer as he went. He'd completely forgotten that it was 2.30 am and pitch black -- well, he remembered when he ran into a wall. Cursing, he stood up and muttered "_Lumos!" _before taking off at break neck speed again.

Draco had also heard the loud noise, and he walked towards it in a mildly curious fashion. He found himself in front of the wide-open Gryffindor portrait. Being a Malfoy (and very bored), he walked through. Instantly he encountered the smell of smoke. He looked up to the 6th year boys' dorm and saw tongues of flame licking the walls.

How odd.

"Malfoy!"

He turned around. A very angry and very surprised Harry Potter stood behind him. Strangely enough, he found he couldn't articulate any words.

Harry pushed past him and ran up the steps.

Sorry was short, inspiration was scarce lol


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Secret Rooms and Exploding Griffindors**

All Characters belonging to J.K

Thank you muchly to Miss Prongs for being my beta for the 1st few chapters also thank you to smarmypenguin for seting it up when my incompentant self couldn't

warnings: Slash, AU pre HBP.

**Chapter Three**: Oh Bugger

"FOR THE FIFTIETH FUCKING TIME, I DIDN'T DO ANY-FUCKING-THNG!" Draco roared at the Headmaster.

"Draco, we don't mean to suggest you _did_, we just need to know all the details so we can come to a conclusion about what happened," Dumbledore said.

"WELL, YOU'RE SITTING HERE MAKING IT OUT TO BE ALL MY FAULT!"

"Draco, that is enough," Severus Snape said quietly to his godson.

Draco paused as if he had forgotten there were others in the room. He looked around. Harry Potter, McGonagall and Severus Snape looked back at him grimly. He threw himself down on a chair and glared.

"Well, we shall thoroughly investigate what happened here tonight. But there _is_ the matter of where Harry will be accommodated until this problem is reversed," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye.

They all stared back in blank confusion.

"I think it would be best suited if Harry stayed with the Slytherins."

It would be safe to say that all hell broke loose. Draco and Harry both leapt to their feet and began to shout their objections. All that could be made out was

"--NO WAY! I'LL BE KILLED--"

"--LIKE FUCK HE WILL! YOU WAIT TILL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS! HE'LL HAVE THE BEST LAWYERS SO FAST UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL TASTE--"

"--I'LL BE RIPPED TO SHREDS! YOU'RE PUTTING THE BOY WHO LIVED IN WITH A BUNCH OF DEATH EATERS! ARE YOU MA--"

"ENOUGH!" Dumbledore said, cutting off the boys' ranting. "Harry will stay with the Slytherins until his own dormitory is repaired. He cannot stay with the girls and the rest of the castle is packed. I believe there is a spare bed in the Slytherin rooms that Harry will be comfortable in. That is my final word."

It was silent for a few moments.

"Now, boys, run along and make sure Harry is comfortable."

Draco stood up, cursing under his breath loud enough for Dumbledore to hear every word of what Draco intended to do to him. Harry followed suit, and they both left the Headmaster's office.

"Albus, I agree with the boys. I do not think this is a good idea"

"Minerva, I never expected you to."

"Well, don't just stand there, _move_!" Draco hissed at Harry, walking through the Slytherin door. Harry blinked, coming back to the world of the living, and dragged his half-empty trunk through the door.

"Draco-lovey-bunny-hunny-kins! We were about to start hunting for you!" Pansy to Draco as he walked through the door.

When Harry walked, through, it was silent.

"Draco, honey, please tell me this is a charmed blow up doll," Pansy said quietly.

"It's not," he snapped, and sat violently on the couch, shoving a comatose Goyle onto the floor, who kept on snoring.

Harry stood beside the portrait looking nervous. Draco vaguely noticed -- as if he cared at all. Let the bloody Gryffindor suffer. He did, however, notice that Blaise was sitting next to Pansy and hadn't uttered a word.

"Blaise? Have you nothing to add?" he drawled.

Blaise blinked, and looked back at him. "Oh right. Um ... never eat yellow snow?"

Pansy giggled and smacked his head. "So, why is he here?" she asked, lighting a cigarette.

Draco smirked. "Gryffindor exploded."

As soon as the words registered, Blaise, Pansy and Draco burst into laughter. Harry stood there looking very angry; he didn't utter a word. Pansy noticed, and decided to calm the situation down.

"Pot--Harry sit down," she giggled, motioning to the couch. He moved and sat down warily. "So," Pansy said, adopting an accommodating manner. It wasn't that she was naturally nice to whoever came through those doors; it was more the fact she was slightly drunk and she'd noticed Harry's toned muscles through his shirt.

Fuck house rivalry, he was _hot_.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson. Feel free to call me Pansy, or Panse." She held out her hand to shake and he took it warily. "This is Blaise; be warned, he _will _jump you."

Blaise grinned

"This is the comatose form of Goyle, or Gregory as we call him when trying to fuck with his head." She gestured towards the floor where Gregory lay facedown, snoring.

"And this is the almighty Draco, or Dracokins in the morning."

Draco glared at Harry.

Harry nodded, deciding not to retaliate to Draco's glare. He was very tired, and all he really wanted to do was sleep. He'd had a big day. Ron throwing a fit, exploding common rooms, to top it all off being welcomed among the Slytherins with open arms.

Oh _fuck_, what a day...

"Um, can I sleep now?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair.

The Slytherins quickly exchanged looks.

"Er, Harry, darling, there's just a slight problem," Pansy tried.

He looked up

"Well, you see, the room Dumbles thought you could stay in is currently occupied. You may have to stay in the boys' dorm. There's a very small room off there that you can stay in. Don't worry, there's a door between you and the other boys," she said in a rush.

Harry didn't care. He just wanted this nightmare to end.

"Okay."

Pansy looked delighted. She hadn't expected him to take it so well. "Well then." She stood up in an odd moment of being sober. "I'm going to bed and I'm taking Blaise with me," she said, grabbing Blaise by the hand and pulling him up.

Harry arched an eyebrow despite himself.

"Oh, I'm bored and could use the exercise," she said breezily. "Goodnight!" she declared, happily dragging Blaise up to the girls' dorm.

Suddenly, all that could be heard n the common room was Goyle's snores. Draco stood up, and Harry followed him into the dorm. Draco pointed to a large oak door with silver writing along the edge.

"This is _my_ room. You will not step foot in here." He pointed to the room next to it. "This is Blaises's." He pointed to the next door "That is everyone else's."

Harry bit back a snort. Trust Malfoy to have his own bloody room.

Draco pointed to the last door in the dimly lit hallway. "_That_ is yours." And with that Draco strode into his room and slammed the door behind him.

Harry sighed warily and walked through the door. There was a small bed in the room and nothing else. He took off his clothes, meaning to get into his pyjamas. He was left in his boxers as he suddenly lay down, falling asleep instantly.

Dun dun dun! The mystery happens review and I shall send good feelings to all of you!!!


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